Sunday, December 14, 2008
Expectations: source of grief
Expectations are individualistic in nature and individuals indeed have limitations, thus setting limitations to fulfillment of expectations. And when the expectations are not fulfilled they are bound to generate grievance, grief and sorrow. So the certain way to do away with your sadness, grief, grievance, sorrow and anything with negative shade, is to set aside Expectation. - Mayank Trivedi
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7 comments:
I think expectations, desires & need to achieve something is what makes us humans. To get rid of them would be the stagnation of world but i coulndnt help writing that expectations are also the root cause of all negatives. I am still not able to understand this thing.
If one expects, there will be frustration; if one don't expect, there will be no frustration.
Frustration is a byproduct: the more you expect, the more you create your own frustration. So frustration is not really the problem, it is the result. Expectation is the problem, the root cause, the seed.
Rohit,
Need, want and Desire is a totally separate theory then Expectations. Let me explain -
"Need is something that is the basic necessity / requirement like food to quench hunger, Want is something we require as per the time and situation and Desire is out own wish list like to Eat Pizza or Macaroni or something like that.
So you see Food is the Need, Breakfast/Lunch/Dinner would be Want and Specific Recipe like Pizza/Biryani/Pasta is Desire.
Now coming to Expectation, it is extension to Desire, per say if Desire gets fulfilled once or twice, no harm, but if Desire gets fulfilled most of the times, we start Expecting situations / circumstances to fall in our favour so that our Wishes/Desires get fulfilled every time. how ever when that does not happen, certainly we are let down by our own expectations and we crib....complain and these situations give raise to grief, grievance, sorrow and so on....
Hope this serves your purpose....or else let me know if you want me to elaborate further
Nicely put down Vaibhav..appreciate that
I got your point Mayank. To me expectations were the result we expected from our actions. Our actions are in our control but not the results. Satisfaction comes from actions rather than expectations of outcomes.
I think this comes directly from Bhagwat Geeta
'Karm karo fal ki ichcha mat karo'
am i right..
I appreciate your style of explaining things.
Mayank explained nicely taking help of example. Here i would like to cite another example which i just read in an article by Osho.
"The more you expect love, the more difficult it will be for love to flow back to you. If you expect love from someone the other will feel it as bondage; it will be a duty for him, something which he has to do. And when love is a duty it cannot fulfill anyone because love as a duty is dead.
Love can only be play, not a duty. Love is freedom and duty is bondage, a heavy burden that one has to carry. And when you have to carry something, the beauty of it is lost. The freshness, the poetry, everything is lost, and the other will immediately feel that it is only something dead which has been given. Love with expectation and you have killed love. It is abortive -- your love will be a dead child. Then there will be frustration.
Love as play not as bargain, not because there is something you want to get out of it. Rather, love the other as an end in itself. Thank God that you have loved and forget about whether it is returned or not.
Don't make a bargain out of it and you will never be frustrated; your life will become filled with love. Once love has flowered in its totality there will be bliss, there will be ecstasy."
Love is just an example. The same law applies to everything.
But life revolves around expectations, because To Expect is Humane :)
and there are sayings also - Expect the unexpected because when unexpected happens, if brings fame, glory and happiness with it :) (Though fame and glory not always....)
So don't stop expecting, but stop Over expecting, Example - Papiha Panin ki Ek Bund ke liye Swati nakshatra ki Barsat ka intezaar karta hai, aur agar us din Barsat na ho to Papihe ka kya hoga??? I mean one sort of expectation that is linked to your life...So don't be a Papiha, be a Camel :)
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